“Pile your troubles on God’s shoulders.” Ps 55:22 TM
Give your marriage to God. The last word on the matter must be God’s Word! Seeking professional help is a good thing. But until you’ve transferred ownership of your marriage into God’s hands, you haven’t exercised your best option. You say, “What does handing my marriage over to God mean in practical terms?” It means two things: (1) You stop calling the shots—that’s God’s job. And you must get out of His way so that He can do His work unhindered. Your self-interest and need to control must bow to His will. As long as you insist on “being right” and “straightening out” your spouse, you will remain part of the problem. On the other hand, when you give the problem to God, He—not you—has the problem to work on! (2) You learn how to “walk by faith, not by sight” (2Co 5:7). When things feel out of control you will want to resume ownership of the problem. Don’t do it, or the result will be more of what doesn’t work. Renew your decision to allow God to have control and work in both of your hearts. “Walk by faith,” not by feelings. The Psalmist puts it this way: “Pile your troubles on God’s shoulders—he’ll carry your load, he’ll help you out.” When you trust God to handle it, three things happen: (a) You experience peace; (b) your partner’s resistance will likely diminish because you’re no longer stirring the pot; (c) God goes to work: “He who began a good work in you [both] will bring it to completion” (Php 1:6 ESV).
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